


say my name

by havisham



Series: havisham's SASO 2017 works collection [38]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 19:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11424483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Sousuke is Rin’s side piece.





	say my name

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO 2017 Bonus Round 3: Fan Soundtracks for [the prompt](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22341.html?thread=13021765#cmt13021765): Sousuke/Rin, [Say My Name - Destiny's Child](https://youtu.be/sQgd6MccwZc). 
> 
> Took me too long to realize that the the singer in "Say My Name" was actually the side chick. What a long, strange journey it's been, my dudes.

Sousuke had gotten used to putting himself into painful and untenable situations for Rin. Sometimes he felt that his insides were twisted up so badly that if anyone were to crack him open, all they'd find was a tight knot where his heart should be. Of course, it had been a beautiful ceremony. Both the bride and the groom were lovely, laughing and obviously very much in love. 

Sousuke, as the best man, had smiled and smiled and kept smiling until his jaw began to hurt. His speech had been had been extremely terse, as expected, and he spoke of the usual things people talked about when they talked about Rin -- his amazing determination, his drive to succeed, his kindness, his grace, his love for his teammates, his family and his friends. 

But there were other things about Rin that Sousuke couldn't mention in his speech. Rin’s selfishness. His inattention to anything that didn't directly concern him. His greed. 

How much Sousuke loved him, every part of him, the good and the bad mixed together to make a whole, eminently lovable person. 

He couldn't say that. Not aloud, anyway. 

*

“Rin,” Sousuke rumbled in his ear and Rin sighed and stubbornly pressed his head against the pillow. Sousuke said his name again and Rin still ignored him. He’d thought that the thing that they’d had -- an affair sounded too grown-up and complicated to call the times when Rin would show up at his door, miserable and needy -- he’d thought that it would end when Rin got married. 

Sousuke had even accepted that, had agreed to be Rin’s best man (and thus denying the post to Haru -- their rivalry might have come at an end, but there was no way Sousuke would let him have that, especially since Haru didn’t care about these things like Sousuke did) -- he did all of that with a heavy heart, but with the sure knowledge that this was a good thing, the right thing to do. 

And then, six months after the wedding, Sousuke heard a familiar rap at his door. 

*

The sex was good. The sex wasn’t good enough to be worth the trouble. The sex wasn’t the point of it at all. 

Rin liked to pretend he was always free and easy, but that had never been true. He carried everything that bothered him around on his shoulders and he -- still -- didn’t know when to let it go. Sousuke knew well -- painfully, terribly well -- how hard it was to let things go. So he did what he thought was necessary, to make Rin feel better. 

He listened, mostly, letting Rin rant on about this or that, the frustrations he felt about his training, about seeing swimmers younger than him surpassing his times and Haru -- and Haru --

“Still obsessed with Haru I see,” Sousuke said, flipping the omelet that was destined to be their dinner. He’d added two extra eggs when Rin had come in. From the other side of the counter, Rin glared at him. 

“Still jealous of Haru I see,” Rin said, and reached over and pinched Sousuke’s side. 

“Ouch, Rin,” Sousuke said, grinning, “that hurts.” 

*

“I’m a shitty husband,” Rin said, extracting himself from the sweaty tangle of sheets and limbs that made up Sousuke’s bed. Sousuke hummed in agreement, although he wasn’t in a position to really say anything. If Rin was a shitty husband, then Sousuke was a shitty friend. 

“You wanted to be like your dad…” Sousuke began to say when it was clear Rin expected him to say something. 

“It’s not that!” Rin said, his sharp teeth bared. 

“Then why?” Sousuke asked, honestly curious. 

“You don’t believe I love her? I love her more than I love you, Sousuke.” 

Sousuke smiled at him. “I get that. You didn’t marry me, after all.” 

*

“You should get out,” Kisumi said during their morning run, “I know you’re crazy about Rin, but if he won’t be with you openly, he never will.” 

“I don’t give up so easily,” Sousuke said with gritted teeth. He passed Kisumi easily enough, but that wasn’t enough to escape him entirely. 

*

He did it. Cut Rin off entirely. Stopped taking his calls, answering his midnight texts. They still hung out with the rest of their friends, but there was no longer anything more between them. Sousuke started going out with guy from work, a tall, rangy ex-basketball player with the softest brown eyes. 

He didn’t miss Rin at all. 

*

There was a knock at his door, and Sousuke opened it, a greeting already on his lips. “Hey, I thought you were working today, Tep-” 

It was Rin, standing out there looking like something left out in the rain. Sousuke didn’t even think about it, couldn’t even question it. He hauled Rin inside, dripping wet coat and broken umbrella and all. His stupid, beloved Rin, whose name would always burn in Sousuke’s mouth, longing to get out.


End file.
